Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Struggling

Hey there,

I just wanted to share a bit of my ambivalence this week about not buying anything new.  To speak plainly, I definitely feel like shopping.  This probably has something to do with a few things going on in my life.

Like my new job.  Like being over-stressed, over-worked, and slightly overwhelmed preparing to leave one job and take on another.  I'm also feeling under-organized.  I know this will pass as I move on and get settled, but in the meantime, I've done some stupid things due to not being organized.  Like miss the deadline to submit my payroll so my next pay will be late.  I'll need to cash in Canada Savings Bonds to cover our mortgage payment.  It makes me mad just thinking about it. 

And I haven't been taking the greatest care of myself (translation: zero exercise + eating everything in sight).  I realized yesterday that this is a powerful trigger for wanting to shop.  Wanting to find something new and shiny to make me feel better physically, when I know that if I just got out for a bloody walk and started eating sensibly again I would feel way better than a new outfit from Winner's or where ever could make me feel. 

But knowing that doesn't stop me from wanting the quick fix of shopping to fill in the gaps in my not-fancy-enough-for-my-new-job wardrobe.  Or to find a magical new article of clothing that instantly sheds 15 lbs.  I felt very grumpy walking through the mall yesterday looking into windows at things I can't have.

Okay, just so you don't think I'm all negative all the time, here are some things I've done lately for my new job without buying anything new:

-went to $2 used clothing sale I mentioned to you before
-went to Value Village specifically for work items and got 2 dressy culottes and two dressy skirts (items ranged from $5-$8 each)
-went to sister's house and borrowed a basket of clothing with potential for new job
-found iron (have not used iron in approximately 20 years, since I was a waitress at the Keg and had to iron seams on my uniform shirt)

Other good news:  My wife and I are going to get radical about our Roger's bill and give it up.  We have a plan that involves cutting all but her cell phone and using Distributel for our internet.  Friends in our building shared their system with us, and it sounds like a WAY better, WAY cheaper method. 

That's about it for today.  I have 7 working days left to wrap up everything and it is keeping me in a constant state of nervous elevation. 

xo Tara

1 comment:

Tena Laing said...

You are doing an amazing job under very stressful circumstances! You articulated your feelings very well. I know you can do it!!! xo T2